Birthday wishes are they just make believe?
Well you guest it today I am one year older wooo hooooooo....I am 28 today and my one wish...only ONE was to sleep in. That's it..I haven't slept in, I mean really sleep in, since before Master got sick. OHHH how it sucks...
So Master gave it a good go, and I settled in last night to sleep in. Long dreams insued of the new rent house we are getting (hopefully). I imagined me going in my mammogram, and the doctor saying that I have no problems. Simply because you can't have both a mother and a father with cancer. Especially not before the age of 30. So there I am, happy and content. And guess what happened....at 5 am a little ringing in my ears woke me up. So I roll over and grumble...watching the baby monitor rise and fall. I nudge Master, his sleepy response is "It's 5am". I sigh get up and make her bottle. Master comes out, I go pee, and head back to bed. Leaving Master in the living room headed towards a screaming child.
Then I can't sleep..the stupid is blarring and I think Master will turn it down...When that doesn't happen I try to send brain waves to him. Than I lie in bed for a few minutes contemplating if I can sneak by in the dark, turn the radio down, and like supermom run back to bed. I sigh get out of bed, raise down the hall turn it down, I make my turn to go back and what happends ...."Mammma?" I sigh grab the baby and realize then her problem. She is soaked with urine, why men can't tell this at 5 am I am unsure. So I rush to change her, hoping after a change she will lay down in our bed and go back to sleep. Master stays in the living room. After a hour of trying to get a wiggling monkey asleep I lay her back in her bed. She cries slightly and than back to sleep. Only to wake up at 8am...sigh again and up I get. Master has some dressing and computer stuff to do. So I handle the intial baby morning. Then Master comes in and "takes over"...Which consist of the baby screaming so loud that even in our Master bedroom with the door closed I could hear her full well. I sigh again and get up. Snuggle with her and Master on the couch. I feel so bad, cause I can see in Master's face the fustration. I explain and remind him of the first six months of her life with him either sick, in the hospital, or recovering from surgery. I was the sole provider for her...that makes a child attach to that person. That it will just take time for her to want "cuddle time". At 18mon she says "Daddy" and "I love you" and wrestles with him. But any cuddle time is strictly mommy. Everytime she chooses me over him I think he's going to cry. I wish there was something I could do.
So what are my plans the rest of the day. Lay in pjs and watch movies...that's about it. Next weekend Master's parents are going to watch the baby so we can go out. But until then I have a lazy day of doing little. There are two problems with this scearnio:
1) The 18mon old
2) The chores (laudry, dishes, vaccuming) that will sit until tommorrow if I don't do it.
How do you over come your inbred training to have one day of doing nothing?
I send you a line of if I make it...
Hana
~Robert's birthday girl~
So Master gave it a good go, and I settled in last night to sleep in. Long dreams insued of the new rent house we are getting (hopefully). I imagined me going in my mammogram, and the doctor saying that I have no problems. Simply because you can't have both a mother and a father with cancer. Especially not before the age of 30. So there I am, happy and content. And guess what happened....at 5 am a little ringing in my ears woke me up. So I roll over and grumble...watching the baby monitor rise and fall. I nudge Master, his sleepy response is "It's 5am". I sigh get up and make her bottle. Master comes out, I go pee, and head back to bed. Leaving Master in the living room headed towards a screaming child.
Then I can't sleep..the stupid is blarring and I think Master will turn it down...When that doesn't happen I try to send brain waves to him. Than I lie in bed for a few minutes contemplating if I can sneak by in the dark, turn the radio down, and like supermom run back to bed. I sigh get out of bed, raise down the hall turn it down, I make my turn to go back and what happends ...."Mammma?" I sigh grab the baby and realize then her problem. She is soaked with urine, why men can't tell this at 5 am I am unsure. So I rush to change her, hoping after a change she will lay down in our bed and go back to sleep. Master stays in the living room. After a hour of trying to get a wiggling monkey asleep I lay her back in her bed. She cries slightly and than back to sleep. Only to wake up at 8am...sigh again and up I get. Master has some dressing and computer stuff to do. So I handle the intial baby morning. Then Master comes in and "takes over"...Which consist of the baby screaming so loud that even in our Master bedroom with the door closed I could hear her full well. I sigh again and get up. Snuggle with her and Master on the couch. I feel so bad, cause I can see in Master's face the fustration. I explain and remind him of the first six months of her life with him either sick, in the hospital, or recovering from surgery. I was the sole provider for her...that makes a child attach to that person. That it will just take time for her to want "cuddle time". At 18mon she says "Daddy" and "I love you" and wrestles with him. But any cuddle time is strictly mommy. Everytime she chooses me over him I think he's going to cry. I wish there was something I could do.
So what are my plans the rest of the day. Lay in pjs and watch movies...that's about it. Next weekend Master's parents are going to watch the baby so we can go out. But until then I have a lazy day of doing little. There are two problems with this scearnio:
1) The 18mon old
2) The chores (laudry, dishes, vaccuming) that will sit until tommorrow if I don't do it.
How do you over come your inbred training to have one day of doing nothing?
I send you a line of if I make it...
Hana
~Robert's birthday girl~
posted by floweringhana at 7:46 AM
6 Comments:
*hugs* and happy birthday....:*
I got your email...will email you back soon :)
Take care sweetie...
annissa,
Ok...I thought maybe you'd call but no such luck :(
Happy Birthday Hana!
awwwwwwwwww Happy Belated Birthday. Big Hugs
OMG... 3 hours from having the same birthday... i was a born night person it seems and i guess had to hang in there until i could be a gemini and explain the craziness that way...lol... happy b-day to you!!!...and anytime you want to swap ages, i'd be really glad to be 28 for awhile again... but i doubt you actually would want to be in the dreaded "over 40" group cause i don't... so i have now proclaimed no more birthdays unless i begin losing instead of adding a year.
I might have called if I'd not still been on restriction...but today was my first day off! Sorry sweets.
*hugs*
Post a Comment
<< Home