Hectic Hell
Ok my life has been kinda hectic over here, I am sorry I haven't posted a real blog in a bit. I really didn't think you want to read about the everyday workings of my life. I don't get much readers on those post, so I stopped writing them. But a good friend encouraged me to..so here goes. Monday and Tuesday were spent dressing, cleaning, cooking, and working. I really had little time to do anything else. I have spent most of the week searching for a baby-sitter for a dinner party tonight. Than we do finally find one, Master decides he would rather go to a movie. Good! The food is to expensive at the place they are going anyway ($18.95 for shrimp cocktail REALLY). So yesterday I spent stressing over whether or not this lady who wripped me off on avon will pay me back. She keeps yelling and calling me all kinds of names and hanging up. My district manager called her last night and got her convinced to pay me about half of what she owes me. When I spoke to her today for the three seconds before she hung up, she told me I ruined her life. Please tell me how I did that? I mean honestly, you took product from me in good faith, you said you would pay me. You didn't, and when you didn't I took it to my manager (who you wanted to talk to in the first place) and now you tell me that I RUIN YOUR LIFE????!!! Umm how? By making you pay me what you owe me? By getting on you about paying it? I mean really? And she says she is a godly women....I have no comment there because I shouldn't judge. My manager says she lost her mother and that was really hard on her...I am truly sorry for that I have no idea what that's like. But that doesn't change the fact that you owe me 200 dollars, I mean honetly. Than our fridge dies last night. I spean all night and this morning worring about it. Come to find out that the stuff breaker clicked itself off. That apartment really needs to be rewired. And I have a month from hell this month with trying to make the money to pay basically three months worth of rent...UGH!! I am so stressed, someone fuck me or beat or something...I need to scream, cry, and yell damn it!!!
Ok there now you have heard my week so far. Master says I do this everytime we move. He says he just sits back out of the storm until its over. I HATE MOVING!!!!
Anyway laters,
Hana
PS if you want to help me with 100 questions please ask me something and I'll
answer.
PPS Question 20 came through from live journal..here is the question:
How do I handle stress? This was asked by pepes_slave...Really I dont do much, I have sex mostly. But when that's not forthcoming than I try to take long baths, or moments outside reading. If that doesn't happen either than I get bad stomach aches for days and feel like I'm going to puke every second. Or am just exhausted mostly. That's where I am right now, sick feeling, wanting to be beaten...all I can do is what for it to pass.
Ok there now you have heard my week so far. Master says I do this everytime we move. He says he just sits back out of the storm until its over. I HATE MOVING!!!!
Anyway laters,
Hana
PS if you want to help me with 100 questions please ask me something and I'll
answer.
PPS Question 20 came through from live journal..here is the question:
How do I handle stress? This was asked by pepes_slave...Really I dont do much, I have sex mostly. But when that's not forthcoming than I try to take long baths, or moments outside reading. If that doesn't happen either than I get bad stomach aches for days and feel like I'm going to puke every second. Or am just exhausted mostly. That's where I am right now, sick feeling, wanting to be beaten...all I can do is what for it to pass.
posted by floweringhana at 8:33 AM
8 Comments:
hana, don't base your blog posts on what you think people want to read - base them on what you want to write about. Period. Blogging is about you, not your readers - I've learned that the hard way, and yes, I still get pissed when I don't get comments on MOST of my posts... but I still blog about even the every day stuff because *I* have to. :)
Here's my questions... What's your favorite toy?
How often do you get to do what YOU want to do, instead of what others want?
Lady Calliah is right,; don't base what you write or do on what you think your 'readers' want to see or hear.
Lady callah...I'll answer your questions, I have had a really LONG day. So please bare with me as I get some sleep. I did want to say thank you for posting what you did.
Art~
Thank you for being so sweet, I know it has been a interesting twist my blog. I am sorry if I seem defensive sometimes, I just get so many people trying to get me baited into something about my Master abusing me that when I see conversations heading that way (even if innocent) than I cut them off...
NIGHT ALL
Hana,
I would never bait you, I may not understand it all, but I would never judge another's lifestyle choice. I live by the rule of "Do what you want, when, how, and who you want as long as you do not infringe on another's ability to do as they choose" rule. (self made) peace~art
P.S. I wanted to add for some reason my girl likes being choked. I don't understand it but it's what she likes.
Art~
From my understanding of "breath play" its about control. Him having the means to cut you off, and you having the ability to not know when he will let you breath again. Mixed with the panic of not being able to breath, some learn to relax through it..and that seems to make them want it more. Because it is a peace they cant get without having someone besides yourself having your life in their hands.
Its all about power...when does she stop fighting and relax? Is this her goin unconcious, or is she really relaxing into it? If she struggles is she still getting of it? Is all the things I have heard Dominants ask themselves during these moments...subs/slaves/etc think more of...I can't breath, relax, he will let go soon, concentrate on where else he is touching you, override your fear get centered...I think thats the difference.
Master does minor breath play with me. (Meaning he will cover my mouth but not my nose) Simply because of my astma and I would go into a huge attack without air.
she doesn't fight it at all
Here are some links that I believe will be interested
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