I'm back abit

I guess since I slept so long this weekend I can't sleep now. I am not even remotely tired and I should be. My body feels like it is going in a million different directions. I can finally breathe with some relief so that's good news. Master and I got in a disagreement this weekend, it festered and festered due to my sickness...so by the time I told him how I was feeling I just wanted to puke, run, and cry all the sometime. You see Master games twice a month...d&d. On two Sundays, this append to be one of those days. Before I got sick, I found out I was suppose to work all weekend. He first told me he would stay home, no problem. Than Friday at lunch*when I just getting sick* he says out of the blue..."I think Casey from work can watch the baby..So I'm going to drop the baby off with her..She has boyfriend but it's ok." I flipped...This coming from a man, who when I wanted a babysitter he wouldn't let me put her anywhere but at his dads. It took me months to find a girl we trusted, and than she was watched like a hawk the first couple times. SO, needless to say I was pissed and being sick didn't help. I told him that by no means who my daughter be going to a girls house "from work" who had a boyfriend and no children. So, than when I come home sick Friday running 103 temp he says "Well Casey says she could come over here and watch the baby. Since your sick and all." I, of course, flipped again. I told him that I never felt he would be so selfish to leave his daughter with whoever while his sick wife isn't in bed because she's worried about the child. Well he drops it, and I get really sick....I lower temp. And than it would come back up again. I was hallucinating and seeing spots, and having trouble breathing. He comes in the room and starts typing on the computer. Now this normally doesn't bother me, but I felt like shit...And so I asked him so politely "Master can you please go in the other room so I could sleep" He said something that just set me off and than slammed the bedroom door and went into the living room. I told Master later if I could have gotten out of bed I would have thrown a suitcase at him. I figured if he wants to leave that bad, get the fuck out. Later that night I couldn't catch my breath so Master called 911, I end up in the hospital all night as they give me advain and basically tell me that I am imaging my problems.....Yeah WHATEVER~ Well when I get home I call my doc...It's sometime in the morning. The Doctor on call, calls back and she;s a total bitch...I had the phone to Master and Master hangs up on her. Than my really doctor calls us back, and he says that maybe the er doc thought it was pullcey(sp?) and that maybe be why he gave me the vikadin and adavan. But my doc said that he felt like I just needed a stronger antibiotic. And so he called me in one...And whala I was cured mostly.

SO than tonight Master and I start talking about why I was so upset. I told him and try to explain to him how I felt. About how going "out with your friends" is not what brought the issue. But going about every way to get the goal done was. That it made it seem to me like he didn't want to be here...Etc. He said he wasn't leaving, and that he loved me. Than went in the other room to think. He came back and apologized said he really didn't know I was so sick until last night. That I was saying "I am feeling better" and so he took that at face value. I told him I couldn't tell him cause than he'd "stay home" cause of me and I'd be "topping from the bottom". He smiled and kissed me on my forehead. He said that people make mistakes, but that I would never be topping from the bottom by showing him his actions if they were true. Maybe it just hit a nerve...With me being sick, and my abandonment issues, and the worry of the baby with stranger. Maybe I was just being overparnoid?

Does it make me a to coddling to be so overprotective of my daughter?