Lifestyle and kids
Since I don't want to speak about this weekend I thought I would bring a thing up that's been jumbling in my head. Kids in the lifestyle. Whether it be submissive and Dom, Master and Slave, or kink and kink couple their is almost always kids somewhere in the mix. Especially when the couple is young (Meaning under the age of 50). Master and I have kids, and before we started down this path we were VERY adament about NEVER EVER exposing the children. I was realeased from my collar during pregnancy to have Bitty (so she would be born free) and will be released again while I am pregnant with our third child. Master has set strict rules about never saying x, y, or z infront of the children; what I am suppose to call him in public and with kids, and what I am suppose to act like while the children are in presence. I placed a huge line in the sand before my collaring about punishing me infront of the baby. Master has crossed this line once, and it was simply to repremand me. But that once was enough to send me into not trusting. Hence he hasn't done it since. He will send me to the "room" or give me a look..or whatever he feels in no descript. It also depends on what I am doing...and I am rarely in trouble so it isn't often. I know Kaya has spoken of not allowing her kids exposure to the times her Master and her play. I totally agree!!!
Now that all said...why the hell would people ever expose their children to this you ask? Well some idiots believe that exposing them to this will teach them to be more dominant (if male) or more submissive (if female). I have known girls through the years who proudly proclaim that they (her and her daugthers) kneel on the floor to eat while they (husband and sons) eat at the table. That the girls don't eat until the men (see above) have eatten..etc. Than today a girl proudly stompts her chest about living with a couple (Master and Mistress) and she being submissive. The kids of this couple are 6 and 3, and they whip her right in front of the kids?!!! WTF?!! She says it's to teach the kids her position in the house, that she is just "Mommy and Daddy's slave" and that's a quote. What the hell is wrong with these people???
Don't they understand the damage and confusion and pain it could cause the children. What if the girl isn't submissive, but dominant by nature? Honestly, stop beating your chest about how EXTREME you are....and realize what you are doing is abuse to the child in question...
Now I will admit we are not totally unopen to others knowing. A lot of our friends know of Master's and my relationship. Master has repremanded me infront of them on occassions, but when we have children over there is nothing but men, women, and kids. All of our friends are our family, and all of the kids precious. I am sure we will have lifestyle friends in the future that have children. Annissa, for example, and there will be times we are "friends/family" and times that they will be over for lifestyle events Master holds in his home. I would never ever expect her Master to punish her infront of our kids (theirs and ours) and I think she wouldn't expect us to do so either. I would be total shocked if someone ever did that, and I know Master would be fuming made for exposing our children to that. I just don't understand this line of thinking....
Hana
Now that all said...why the hell would people ever expose their children to this you ask? Well some idiots believe that exposing them to this will teach them to be more dominant (if male) or more submissive (if female). I have known girls through the years who proudly proclaim that they (her and her daugthers) kneel on the floor to eat while they (husband and sons) eat at the table. That the girls don't eat until the men (see above) have eatten..etc. Than today a girl proudly stompts her chest about living with a couple (Master and Mistress) and she being submissive. The kids of this couple are 6 and 3, and they whip her right in front of the kids?!!! WTF?!! She says it's to teach the kids her position in the house, that she is just "Mommy and Daddy's slave" and that's a quote. What the hell is wrong with these people???
Don't they understand the damage and confusion and pain it could cause the children. What if the girl isn't submissive, but dominant by nature? Honestly, stop beating your chest about how EXTREME you are....and realize what you are doing is abuse to the child in question...
Now I will admit we are not totally unopen to others knowing. A lot of our friends know of Master's and my relationship. Master has repremanded me infront of them on occassions, but when we have children over there is nothing but men, women, and kids. All of our friends are our family, and all of the kids precious. I am sure we will have lifestyle friends in the future that have children. Annissa, for example, and there will be times we are "friends/family" and times that they will be over for lifestyle events Master holds in his home. I would never ever expect her Master to punish her infront of our kids (theirs and ours) and I think she wouldn't expect us to do so either. I would be total shocked if someone ever did that, and I know Master would be fuming made for exposing our children to that. I just don't understand this line of thinking....
Hana
posted by floweringhana at 1:37 PM
7 Comments:
I don't understand exposing children like that AT ALL and personally feel it's very, very wrong. Our chidren see nothing we do... it's always behind closed doors, often times late in the evening when they are sleeping or when they are out of the house with family or friends...
It makes for less spontanious play times... but if we didn't want to make the consessions needed, we wouldn't have had children ;)
I totally agree with Annissa. There is a time and a place for everything.
I am so glad that have you girls to write, I just didnt know anymore. Lines keep getting crossed and I am screaming stop stop. It just seems like no one is listening sometimes.
Mija,
I sent you a email about what I wanted on my blog did you get it???
Hana
i did a lot of things in front of my kid, but i didn't ever bring my social life home after his dad died. i lived with a true idiot for awhile but since i couldn't stand him in pretty short order, there was nothing to see anyway.
i make general comments and when he lived here i told him to keep a lid on it and he did. i told him the basics about diseases, etc. and that preventing unwanted pregnancy was as important as protecting himself from terminal disease. i didn't act like sex didn't exist but i didn't make any outside person become involved with or without a lifestyle attached.
kids have enough crap to deal with. home doesn't need to become a place of fear and fear assigned to gender (like the girls made to eat on the floor) is some sick shit and straight up abuse.
Watcher,
I totally agree, I mean I thought for a very long time that my home was never "safe" and I would have my kids feel "safe" by whatever means. I failed at that with my oldest (really long story) so when I hear this stuff...I swear if I knew were they lived I would turn them in myself. Though the SS prob would just give the kids back anyway. That's how it works down here...they take the kids and then give the back and then they are killed. OR they give them to foster homes who kill them. I mean where the hell has the line gone? What happened to a "safe loving home" damn it?
I am so angry over this...and the girls(the slave) they think it is some right of passage. Some way to say they have reached a level you haven't. WELL they need to hear this I DON'T want your level of slavery. Your slavery can walk out hte door
well, its a relief to hear that there are people out there that appreciate the importance of keeping children safe from unncessary exposure to things they aren't ready to experience.
First and foremost, WHY do so many practioners of BDSM feel it is not only "appropraite" but "good" to expose their children to their lifestyle? Ultimately, it is NOT appropraite to be totally out there in a vanilla world regarding the intimate things you do with your adult partner, what makes it different if you're into an alternate lifestyle?
Affection, normal interaction, sex education in a clinical sense (crucial in today's world) - but putting your children in a position where they're exposed to things that woudl confuse and upset them - that's out and out child abuse - call it what you will.
Allow them to become who they are without influencing them unduly - let them be children first - and you're SO on the money - it is ALL about choices - parents make sacrifices all the time and if that means your playtime is curtailed or limited becuase of children in the house, that is the choice taken.
Good for you!
Thank you selkie....I knew this would bring the lurkers out a bit, good to see you posting. I know a lot people think my lifestyle is wrong or evil. But I want everyone to understand where the "real" not fantasy enduced peoples principles lie. Maybe if their weren't so much "chest thumping" we wouldn't leave girls exposed to murders, rapist, and kidnappers that pose as a "lifestyler" for fear of being deemed a failure. I for one would rather be a failure than be dead or harmed.
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