This life

I think the stress is finally starting to lift. I didn't get fired from work, and the girl who is also and asst is really knowledgable. Though her outlandish, outspoken ways make me hate her sometimes. Of course the big boss loves her, sigh such is life. She is very demanding on a show off most of the time. I am sur eyou have the seen the type, the kind that have more experience in a particular area then you. They know this and use it to rub it in your face and every turn, even if it's to help you out. I know a slave girl like this. She is really good at being "friendly" and because of this (until recently) pulled the wool over many mens eyes around here. Everyone would see the "friendly" side, but than around me she would say snide comments. Things like "Across you haven't met me because I haven't introduced myself" and than walk away. It makes me want to slap their head off their face. Anyway that's her in a nutshell. Thinking the world owes her some shit, and doesn't ask anyone for any permission to do anything. Let alone any expenses accured for a event. Me, on the other hand, (maybe because of my nature) doesn't think it is right to make the decision for a male vp on how much alcohol he should serve or what kind of food he should eat at his own party. Especially since I have never done an event for him before. So my thinking is ask lots of questions the first event, that way next time you can have full knowledge of what will make him most happy. She on the other hand picks what she prefers, or has had at previous events and tells the big man (the man who took my head off) shove it ....or I don't give a crude what he thinks he wants..."I will train him". You have no idea how bad this gets under my skin....alll you slaves will understand (but everyone else may not have the clear picture). Anyway enough about her..

So I am still at work, and hopefully I will get my boss rolling on making me perm soon. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

As for my birthday it went pretty well. I saw two movies that were kinda tasteless. I guess I had high expectations, but such is life. I saw United 93 and Divinci Code. Not my ideas of good movies.....

I did end up cleaning the kitchen, bathroom, and some of the bedroom. Though it looks like I never touched it again. Bitty is doing wonderful with her new home daycare and the meds are really helping (other than a tummy ache) she goes down to two meds on Monday. I can't wait!!!!!

Master is feeling tremendously better and I am feeling sickly. BUt all in all things are looking up. OH btw, I did have my mammo....the tech (who isn't suppose to tell me anything) told me that she saw nothing. She said she had to tell because she felt like (with all my problems and the stress in my face) that I had to know. I am so greatful she took that risk with her career for me. Thank you so much tech lady!!!!

I played kickball, in Master's place, on Sunday with our church. That was great fun, though it was hot. I think the choir team won, but I was to hot and Bitty was to cranky to stay and find out.

On the way upside, one of the bloggers I absolutely adore is moving here. I was just remarking to her, or someone that I wished she was closer. Than out of the blue I read that she is moving close to me within driving distance or maybe closer....

I can't wait to put my arms around a real girl...someone I can grow and learn from. I slave girl who has kids!!!!!! YEAH!!!

Lots of loves

Hana

Birthday wishes are they just make believe?

Well you guest it today I am one year older wooo hooooooo....I am 28 today and my one wish...only ONE was to sleep in. That's it..I haven't slept in, I mean really sleep in, since before Master got sick. OHHH how it sucks...

So Master gave it a good go, and I settled in last night to sleep in. Long dreams insued of the new rent house we are getting (hopefully). I imagined me going in my mammogram, and the doctor saying that I have no problems. Simply because you can't have both a mother and a father with cancer. Especially not before the age of 30. So there I am, happy and content. And guess what happened....at 5 am a little ringing in my ears woke me up. So I roll over and grumble...watching the baby monitor rise and fall. I nudge Master, his sleepy response is "It's 5am". I sigh get up and make her bottle. Master comes out, I go pee, and head back to bed. Leaving Master in the living room headed towards a screaming child.

Then I can't sleep..the stupid is blarring and I think Master will turn it down...When that doesn't happen I try to send brain waves to him. Than I lie in bed for a few minutes contemplating if I can sneak by in the dark, turn the radio down, and like supermom run back to bed. I sigh get out of bed, raise down the hall turn it down, I make my turn to go back and what happends ...."Mammma?" I sigh grab the baby and realize then her problem. She is soaked with urine, why men can't tell this at 5 am I am unsure. So I rush to change her, hoping after a change she will lay down in our bed and go back to sleep. Master stays in the living room. After a hour of trying to get a wiggling monkey asleep I lay her back in her bed. She cries slightly and than back to sleep. Only to wake up at 8am...sigh again and up I get. Master has some dressing and computer stuff to do. So I handle the intial baby morning. Then Master comes in and "takes over"...Which consist of the baby screaming so loud that even in our Master bedroom with the door closed I could hear her full well. I sigh again and get up. Snuggle with her and Master on the couch. I feel so bad, cause I can see in Master's face the fustration. I explain and remind him of the first six months of her life with him either sick, in the hospital, or recovering from surgery. I was the sole provider for her...that makes a child attach to that person. That it will just take time for her to want "cuddle time". At 18mon she says "Daddy" and "I love you" and wrestles with him. But any cuddle time is strictly mommy. Everytime she chooses me over him I think he's going to cry. I wish there was something I could do.

So what are my plans the rest of the day. Lay in pjs and watch movies...that's about it. Next weekend Master's parents are going to watch the baby so we can go out. But until then I have a lazy day of doing little. There are two problems with this scearnio:

1) The 18mon old
2) The chores (laudry, dishes, vaccuming) that will sit until tommorrow if I don't do it.

How do you over come your inbred training to have one day of doing nothing?

I send you a line of if I make it...

Hana

~Robert's birthday girl~

The unveiling

Well it happened, it always does. The job I absolutely love, the other shoe dropped today. I made this slight error and it blew up into a huge mess. I really don't want to bring it up again, because I'll cry. But at least I didn't loose my job. I have a mammogram on Monday to find out if the pain in my breast is cancer. The baby as diagnosed with asthma last week...and Master was in the hospital last weekend with what they thought was pneumonia. It turned out to be ashtma too...so to the tune of 450 dollars I have three asthmatics in one house.>>SIGHS...

My life is so stressful..my work is never ending. And everyone has expensive medicine.

Anyway thats whats going on over here.

Lots of Loves

Hana

Still Alive

Just letting everyone know I am still alive...Master has been terribly ill with a sinus infection and the baby caught it and now is fighting it as well. I am sorry I havent been on I will write soon.

Hana