This is something I posted on a list I am on enjoy, I have removed his name to protect who I was speaking to:
I would like to first thank everyone who has told me how wonderful, or how much they agreed with my original post. That means a lot to me as I don’t post often because I feel that a girl should only respond when she has something to add or questions what is said and has a valid reason for asking (mainly knowledge).
Master B, I am sorry this has taken so long to respond to. Yahell ate my post yesterday right after I was done. When I tired to write it a second time my connection crashed, so I gave up and went to bed until today.
Master B you asked me to expand on my idea of the levels of lifestyle bottoms, subs, and slaves. This was in response to me saying: “ Now, there is about 8 levels between a BDSM sub and a Kajira Slave. These levels have a wide range of thoughts, limits, and rules for the girl in question. Each level brings a girl closer and closer to being a slave. BUT only a Gorean Master can make her a kajira”
Disclaimer: These levels are all my thought alone, through my experience. I may give bits of my life with them, and you may disagree. But these are the levels I either personally experienced or saw others close to me go through. That said…
This is a very long post so if you don’t like long post please just simply delete me.
Level 1: The Kinky Sub
When I was in my early teens I enjoyed many many pleasures, and constantly manipulated the men in my life to give me what I wanted while refusing what they wanted. I did this for many years, and remember fondly (which means I laugh at my silly self) my first man that I had spank me. He was the brother of the man I was dating at the time, and the man I snuck out of the house for. (For my boyfriend was a dork, but his brother was so hot….lol). We had many good times on days that school was closed, and he and I enjoyed our cat and mouse game. Times of me standing bent over while he whooped me with his cowboy belt, or chased me around the house and down the stairs threatening to beat me. I laughed and giggled and enjoyed the thrill and tease, and I was damn good at the game (I even got better at such games through my stripper days, to this day it is very difficult for me to not look at a man and try to read him…Master doesn’t like when I do it). So, the girl in this level is a sly manipulator. She is good and enjoys the dance. For it strictly is for the play and the highs she gets. She likes to be able to play “low level” and pull her wrist slightly and the knot coming out. Some stay in this place forever, and that is what is good for them. The rules here are strictly on the bottom’s end, and the top must play to these no negotiation it just is.
Level 2: The weekend sub
When I started into the world of BDSM in ’99 I truly thought this was heaven. I could play all I wanted, tell the Dom what I needed and he would tell me how he could provide it or how he wanted to adjust it. I had a safeword at all times, and SSC was my friend. I found the local clubs here through my roommate, and entered the world of Yahell chat. I still manipulated well, but the play was an equal give and take. The Dom got x while I got y. The girls here simply stick with the part-time; they may play during the week or on the weekends. But they ALWAYS take their toys and leave. The Doms in this realm are trying to gain more insight and more control. But it is really hard when the girl is gone tomorrow, next week, or next month. The rules here clearly define how part-time this is, and how the charade works. “Play by my rules or else” is the mantra.
Level 3: The classic sub
This girl wants more than just the part-time; some girls here serve day to day at minimal basis. They may serve you coffee, but there is always the wrong focus. Mostly based on their needs. I remember the first time at a play party, and how a couple took me under their wing and convinced me (not much convincing needed) to have my first scene. It was interesting, and I still look fondly on it. I remember kneeling at his feet while he “protected” me for the night, and him stroking his fingers through my hair and pulling every so often. Through this I remember looking around and watching the other subs, wondering if this is what I wanted. The girls with little red bottoms, playing roles that fit their dom. School girls, playful brats, and sassy wenches all fit in this category but there are many many more. Their thoughts are on “How can I get what I want and still seem endearing and submissive…while having fun”. The rules for the Doms contain safewords, SSC, and other such rules. Some play on the weekend, some live together, some just hide it until the events. Either way they are different than our weekenders because it is more endeared, more constant. While the weekender is only in it for the moment, the classic is in it for like a “drug-fix” they always need more.
Level 4: The long-term submissive
This girl has started to serve on a regular basis, though these are simply things. Here play is still center of her needs, but she is starting to wiggle out of just the play and enjoying minor service (drinks, food, feet rubs, etc). She may even have a pillow at his feet, but she really is back and forth. Most girls here have now become to the “equal ground” phase. The owner gets equally his needs and as she does. This is the first time contract come into play, and collars (in the true sense) get spoken of. I have many friends that live this life everyday and are truly happy. This is the moment of interest in looking over the other side, but most stay in one spot due to fear. Some girls find this place easily and it is such a safe moment in their lives most girls stay here. The owners negotiate at the beginning, and almost on a regular interval pre-setup (once a year). The girls are supposed to grow in this time, but some do not. The owner’s at this stage still give and bend a lot, excuses reign supreme…and punishment is light or non-existent. Though I have known owners to be very protective and defensive of the subs they keep on their realm (collar or not). I have seen huge wars over a subs who got out of hand and than ran to their owner, and the owner protected them. (Now I do believe that the owner has right to punish first and foremost, and that sometimes it is the owners decision not to. That is his/her right, but if the girl is throwing m&m’s and sticking her tongue out…or swaying her hips when she knows she is not to be played with by others…or making constant eye contact when she is suppose to be in high protocol. Than there should be an action taken when it is brought to the attention. Again my opinion. For all of you who don’t know what high protocol at a event is, it is where the sub is not suppose to talk or make any movement including looking at any Owner period. Unless directly told to her by her owner, and it is considered rude and against any thought of all things holy to even look at a girl in this state. And yes A LOT of subs are in this state at parties. BTW most newbies aren’t told this. I saw a almost fist fight because a new owner passed a girl in high protocol and when passing touched her arm and said “excuse me”. Something about the guy supposing to know such things, and apologizing.)
Level 5: The curious slave
This is the most risky stage a girl gets into. She takes loads more chances in this stage than others. This is also the point that a girl who has much potential can crawl back to the submissive side of life or go running forward. Which way she ends up going mostly ways heavy on the owner’s side. It is this point she is most moldable, but also most gullible. The girls you hear about that get cased in oil barrels in backyards come from this lot. These are the girls that will screw up the most, cry the most, and be scared the most. They will be the ones that fall for the line of “If you were a slave you’d x, y, or z” and fall into the trap of “slave failure” more often than not. The owners here have a huge responsibility, they must mold and have a girl that is utterly dependant on them alone. They still haven’t focus totally, and sometimes loose direction. They need lots of correction and strictness in these stages. They need to such a extreme and need to know where the lines are clearly defined. They need much direction but at the same time much understanding. Each girl is different and some strive in well-structured environments at this stage, some strive in environments that move slowly. I did a little of both, I had men in my life on both extremes. Some were bad experiences some were good. This is the first time we the pendulum start to swing towards ownership and owners. It is more about pleasing and less about oneself.
Level 6: The beginning of slavery
This phase the girls are either very timid, are head first divers. They have a taste and want more; sometimes they are in their first collar as a slave. The safe words have mostly been forgotten long ago. Their focus is shifting faster and faster away from themselves. The fears start to creep up. “Am I good enough” “What if x,y,z”? A lot of the past bad things come to surface at very bad times. (For me the first time Master looked like he was going to slap me, I went hysterical and was talking incoherently. Master retells this story, and to this day I remember seeing his hand in slow motion and the rest was just feelings a over pouring of feelings I never knew was there). The Master takes the reigns in this stage, and easily guides along the path. She can weave in and out, be he must always be there to make sure she comes back. This is also the time that most girls realize that if they don’t please they could be gone. This fear starts rearing its ugly head here.
Level 7: The Deep slave
Master and I have a very nice couple in this stage. They don’t want to be Gorean, but love and live all the other things that would make them such. They practice as close to kajira slavery as you can get, without being a kajira. There are dire consequences for actions, and there is always lessons learned. My friend here recently was falling and failing, her Master did many things to bring her back (isolation, kneeling on bottom caps, whippings, writing lines) but the one thing that sticks in my head was when she couldn’t hold her hands up any longer. He lowered himself behind her, support her body onto him, held her hands and hit them with the ruler…and as he did it he whispered in her ear “When you can’t take anymore, I will be here to support you. Comfort you…love you through it. But you will take it.” It was so powerful I still remember the tears it brought to my eyes. The rules are at the Master’s whim and each thought is derived strictly for him alone. Even when playing with others, or around others.
Level 8: The Kajira
Now we all know what this is and isn’t, and there has been much debate over this. So I won’t even begin to give my opinion here. But I am sure which each have our own definition.
Thank you all for taking the time to read such a LONG LONG post.
Again these are just my thoughts and not directed at anyone in anyway. I hope that they are found insightful and pleasing.
I wish you well,
Hana~Robert’s little flower~
