A big relief

SO as Master and I lay down to go to sleep last night I finally got up the nerve. I poured out all my fears, and was crying non stop. He held me, and listen and told just the right words. Sure we are only going to be gone a couple days, but it is away from here. Yes its a long drive with a 2 year old, but it will be worth it when she is smiling on the beach. All these things made it better. We cuddled for a very long time, and he told me how wonderful I am. How that just because I can't be perfect doesn't mean I'm a failure. My father did a lot of mental damage to me. So after I got my crying over with I started tickling Master. I just love how cute his laugh is when I'm tickling him. He tickled me back, and back and forth we went. IT was great fun. And it lightened the mood. We did this "lick or bite" game. It's were Master puts a body part in front of me and I can either lick or bite...But then he gets to choose one. It's great fun. Of course I ended up licking his dick, and biting just a bit. Than I closed my eyes, his dick hardening in my mouth. I slowly swallowed and enjoyed. Just thinking about it now make me oh so wet. You need to experience this moment at least once in your life. You laying under this strong man, with his dick in your mouth. It slowly growing and expanding. The smell of him close toy our nose. At that moment close y our eyes, relax into it and it will be bliss. So, Master starts playing with my nipples, slowly at first. He removes his dick, and calls me slutty names. Placing his fingers between my lips on my mouth. I enjoy this moment to, because it is like telling him what I want to do without saying a word. I use and do to his fingers what I would I would do to his dick. Master says he started it to muffle my moans and screams....(I can't use gags due to my asthma). ...but than I started enjoying it..and it made him excited to watch my face. Needless to say we kept it in our sex practices. As time passed he would pull my nipples harder and harder, my body just was in heaven. I thought to myself..."Yes..Pain..Please" But I never expressed these thoughts to Master before. Now before I go on, I do absolutely love pain. But for me, the pain (harsh pain like from candles or nipples clamps) don't subside unless I am being played with. Every other time before tonight I have not wanted just pain. I have had thoughts in the past about what I would like Master to do to me, but I have never been brave enough to beg them during sex or play sessions. I have been of the thought if he wanted to do it he would, if I say something I am doing the directing. And that is not what I want. This in many ways has hindered Master in the past, because without my expression he isn't sure how far to push. We have NEVER before last night pushed my pain threshold. Somewhere in subconscious it knew I needed the pain to recenter, and I knew it. Master at that moment pulled away...And cuddled me, kissed me. I thought he was going to bed. I screamed in my head, he acted like it. Just as I comfy in bed again, here he came and I smiled. We played this way for a good long hour or so (I didn't have a watch) .It felt sooo good....his dick in my mouth..his hands on my nipples. Than he started to trail his hands towards my pussy. I looked at him and tried to plea with my eyes what I needed...when his hand kept moving I finally got the words out. "Masssssterrr" I stuttered. He looked up at me....pulled one of my nipples I gasped and lifted of the bed. "What is it my slut needs?" his face was a mixture of teasing and knowledge. That was when I realized he knew but wanted me to beg. My face must have looked funny cause he chuckled an evil chuckle..and continue towards my pussy. I grabbed his wrist and immediately let go. I was rewarded with a slap on the thigh that still has a mark today. I whimpered and finally said what was in my head..."Master please only my nipples...I need to feel the pain. I don't want to cum" That must have been what he was waiting for...cause that is exactly what he gave. Pure, unhendered, pain...over and over. My nipples were bit, turned. grasp, slapped. Each moment he touched my I quiver, each ounce of pain made me more his, and each time he offered his dick to me I needed it more. When it was over he came on me, my face, tits, and stomach. I laid there and he cleaned me. I looked up and him and said "Thank you" and went to sleep. It was exactly what I needed, and I am still feeling it all day long. Know I understand what girls mean when they talk about there breast being bruised the next day and how peaceful that is. Each time they'll feel the pain of their nipples touching something. How much heaven their in...I know fully understand.

Thank you so much Master for this gift.

Hana

Life

So, annissa writes in her blog about it...here and I was all ready to talk about how I got so excited by this post. That I went and got all hot and waiting for Master. How he fucked me like a used puppy slut that I am. Oh how bad it hurt, but how good it was. But truly I don't want to write about that anymore. It all started yesterday when I went looking for Bitty's swim suit. Master takes her to swim lessons because I can't stand having her dunked under water..sigh. So, I was hanging and sorting and writing list for the trip. I couldn't find her swim suit. I though how odd...so I went searching all night last night, and all today. Through dirty clothes hampers, under beds, etc. I mentioned to Master, since he is the one who takes her, that I couldn't locate it. He said in a defensive tone "It was in the towel when I tossed them in the bath tub". I sighed and said ok...and searched the same spots again, still no suit. SO after asking him if he would help me look tonight, he all aggrivated and said something I didnt understand. I said well it isn't in the tub, I can just go buy a new one. It's kinda small so maybe it fell out. We just need to double check from now, and maybe hang it up. So it doesn't get lost. He said something else, unrecoginizable...and hung up the phone. SIGH...

So I wait a bit, and IM him about something else. We talk about it, and I tell him if he is not wanting me along or I'm being to fustrated I can just not go...or not talk or something. I don't know, I just feel like crap...and all depressed about it know. I hate trips...sigh. I don't know what I'm thinking. I just get so sad when he is upset...even when he says he's not but his tone says otherwise. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it will work out in the wash. I don't know...I give upppp...

Hana

Sex and the boring

Well I never did get my bravery into gear long enough to root around with my ass in the air. Though maybe when we move and Master has "HIS DEN" I will have more nerve. My pussy has taken a nose dive. I am inbetween that stage where you know your period is coming in the next week, but you still have this week. Normally my pussy goes "Let's fuck", but not this week. I spent most the afternoon Sat. out in the sun, the combo of sweat and heat crack my pussy lips. HOW THE HELL DO YOU CRACK PUSSY LIPS? Master say only I would do something like that...I was like HUH? I want to have sex damn it! So the choose now is...

a) wait it out and see if it heals before we leave on Sat.

b) just screw it and have sex, fuck the pain and deal with it later...

c) go easy and half enjoy it...

I really have good and bad points all around, I mean we have done the whole "B" chocie before and I was infected with yeast and shit for weeks. SIGH. My pussy is to sensitive and the rest of my body is way the opposite. I never had these issues until after I had Bitty. But I am sure you don't want to hear all about it. So "Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me...." (I'll give whoever guesses the next line a big hot kiss)

Master of course has been well taken care of. Last night I am sitting on the pot, and Master comes in with this evil look. He is in boxers and nothing else, leaning up againist the door jam like GQ, and licking his lips. I, being my tired bratty self, says "What is that look for?" He says "I was considering having you suck my dick while you pee" I stopped peeing, literally...I just couldn't. He just gave that deep chuckle, you know the kind evil and "gotcha" in a laugh. So I got up, cleansed (hands and all), and slithered by him in the doorway. I could hear his heart beat, feel his breath. I was sure he was going to pin me or something, but he didn't I just walked on by. I crawled up in bed and stretch out...when I didn't move but just smiled (Shot me I was in a mood and it was 1 am) He grasped my back of my head and shoved my face onto his dick in one forceful movemet. I had no choice but to open...AND OPEN I DID. My tongue glided in places that warmed both him and me. I curled my body into him, my mouth sliding over his shaft inch by inch. Each tongue sweep sending a shiver down his spine. I relished in the moment, going slow at first. Before our rhthyms met and I lost track of time. "Hmmmm..." was what brought me back. My hands fondling his ball, my mouth working in fluid strokes to the base. I moaned and he came. It was a glorious moment, just us....

Sunday was spent doing more Avon stuff, and today was spent having "mommy and me" time before I go back to work on Thrusday. Wish me luck at my new job.

Lots of loves

Hana

Hmmm

So here I am, and if I smoked I would be smoking now. Our days have been filled with sex..and stress..more sex...more stress. Master begun his last chemo treatment a couple days ago. It go til Friday....to say the least I so relieved. Though Master has been one human need. I have had to polite discuss why I didn't think was a good idea to scene. He agreed and we haven't, but it just makes me want to do it more. Though after his overwhelming tiredness tonight I am glad we haven't. Sex takes a lot out of us...especially with us in general. We have tried to not connect and have "gentle" sex. It always starts out with good intentions, and than somewhere inbetween the hot skin and the gentle kissing we get lost he says "Slut" or something and I'm gone. It really isn't my fault I swear. These books I am reading are not helping my need any...each time I read about "his teeth engulfing her nipple and dragging his teeth across the areola until is hard" makes my whole body shiver...SIGHS

oh well such is life, anyone got any ideas on how to overcome with having sex???

Well on sat I am so going to crawl around on all fours with my ass in the air..LOL. I am kidding if you can't tell...I did that last week...I got swatted and than fuck...it was interesting. I was swept away I forgot to write about it...sorry guys

XOXO

Hana

Scrabble and Sex

So here I am at my last day at work, just enjoying the quietness. Almost everyone is gone but me to the new building I'll never see. Mainly because of the Bitch but for other reasons to. I am heartbroken but happy at the same time. I want so desperately to be away from the bitch.

So I am playing literati on yahoo all day, bored out of my fucking mind. I must be really lost because the only words I can come up with are fuck, sex, pussy, piss, ass, cunt, lips...I mean maybe I am in the "MOODY". *shrugs* Maybe it's Master standing at the end of the bed last night rubbing his cock through he pj pants that say (#1 Dad) that has now got me so mind fucked. But whatever it is I am lost in a world of sex...I truly hope I get laid tonight...wish me luck

Hana

I am here

I guess I have lost readers due to my lack of writing...oh well such is life. I have been majorily busy as of late. Master and I have been keeping ourselves occupied...WEG. I will tell you about that in a minute. First, let me tell you about the bitch on the other side of the cubicle. Everything with her came to a head yesterday. She asked for a contract on a project for a meeting I am working on yesterday. I was very suspicious, but being my "give the benefit of the doubt self" I gave the information to her. What did she do? Lie and betray me. She drives up to the place that we have the contact with, calls them and says she wants to "renegotiate" the contract that is already signed. The sales leader up at this location calls me, and I had to do everything to be professional enough to calm the lady down without going off on the bitch today. After I got it accommplished and had her show the bitch the location but not the contract I spoke to the bitch's boss. Of course, he ranted and raved like he was going to do something...but in the end nothing changed. This morning she tries to lie and give reasons why she did x,y, or z. I just told he I didn't want to hear it and that I was here to do my job...period. Now she's trying to be my friend, she even bought me lunch today. SIGH!

Anyway...so right before my period came along this week...Master and I had some good time. I came into the bedroom after the baby was asleep. My hand and nails grazing his back. I rubbed his bare shoulders tenderly, he sighed and relaxed. He stood in the light, blocking most of it. Which made his body almost glow while the light tried to sneak out from behind him. There I was, smiling back up to the bed. He waisted no time, and pressed his lips to mine with such passion I couldn't breath. Our arms mingled with our heated bodies. He easied me down to the bed, strip off his belt, and with a wicked smile started laying into me. I just watched his eyes and enjoyed. My lips moaning or whimpering when the need arouse. It was so hot I was wet. He spread my legs and aimed for my flower, and the anticipation was slowing pushing me. The pain hit, and I lost track of time and space. I could hear his breathing, feel him enter me (glourisly no pain) and I was his. He pushed, shoved, and turned as he liked...I simply was in for the ride. Oh what a ride, and when he finished and collapsed sweaty on top of me....I knew I was his...oh what heaven.

Thats all for me, have a great weekend,

Hana

A pic and such

Well life is normal here, I am still the vampire series and enjoying myself. Master took bitty to her swim lessons this morning and all went well. I waited around for a friend to call. When 3 pm rolled around and no call I figured she had gotten tied up. So off to the community pool. We had great fun, bitty jumped off the edge and ran under the raining mushrooms. I had a ball and now she's asleep...well thats weekend so far peaceful..

Hana

Staying Alive...

You know I love that song, staying alive....It is a great song and truly sings to my soul today. I have been off and on gleeful for the last couple of days at work. Mainly because of the girl I mentioned before is out sick, and hence she is not here to drive me crazy. GO ME!

So I am sure you all are wondering how I spent my memorial day weekend. Well it started out pleasant enough. Master and I watched "King Kong" together. Bitty loved it so much she ran around like a monkey going "Hoo Hoo Hoo" and at one point tried to jump up and down in front of the tv screen like one. I thought it was so cute, UNTIL..... she slipped and head first dived into the entertainment center. And what do all entertainment cents have.....door knobs of course. So, she split her head open and we dashed her to the emergency room. No stiches thank heavens, just glue. But the nurses were sure in no hurry to get us out of there. A dab of glue and it took 2 hours? WTF~

Why do all emergency rooms visits take 2-4 hours? Anyway, after she was patched up and in bed Master and I cuddled and off to night night land. Saturday was filled with going to see his dad and step mom. They live way out in the boonies....but they will watch the baby for free and we can go see a movie and have dinner. We went and saw "Xmen III", it was so great I can't describe it in words. Though it was the stuff movie's are made of..and I HATE comic book movies. Master and I want to go see "The Omen" next weekend.

Sunday was spent out on the patio reading three books in two days. I love this book series Master got me started on. It's a vampie series by Laurell K Hamiliton. Some of her books are slow, and some are so riveting I can't put the down. If you are ever in the mood for some fantasy and romance check her books out.

Bitty is going to have to be evaluated for speech problems in the next week or so, cross your fingers that it is just her taking her time to talk. I really don't want another doctor telling me what I should or shouldn't do with my child.

As far as the sex world goes, it's kinda on hold over here. Master and I had a big scene the other night that left me wanting more but tore my little pussy all up. And now it is not so happy with me. I really hate my pussy, it could be soaking wet and it still rips..tears..and hurts upon entry just like a virgin. It is so fustrating because I end up with a yeast infection most of the time and can't have fun. I have been back and forth to the OB..he thinks it is because of the steriods I have to take due to me astma. He suggested using a lubricant........sigh...I am allergic to most lubes...THIS SO SUCKS. I think sometimes I will never get laid again!!! Thankfully, I have friend here local who used a lube on me called Maximus when she tops me. She is great fun btw.....anyway going of the subject. I don't seem to have a reaction to it, so I am going to order like a case so load...so I can have lots and lots of sex...keep your fingers crossed.

Hana
~Robert's horney beast~